Dropkicks vs Skynyrd: a story of forgiveness

I had a really nasty experience of hurt a few years ago. I was a new Christian. A person close to me had been consistently hurting me for a long time. I was pretty naïve at the time, so I didn’t know better than to allow it. Shortly after I trusted Christ for my salvation, things culminated to bring that relationship to an end. But it wasn’t over. This person continued to be a part of my life, a member of my church community, and a friend to my friends. I often wished I could just be done with this person; that this person would just disappear.

For two years I struggled on a weekly, sometimes daily, basis with the hurt and bitterness I felt. In that time, God taught me my first major lessons in forgiveness. I learned to turn over the right to judge to Jesus – the only one who really holds the right to judge. I learned to turn hurt over to Christ as well. I learned that holding grudges, un-forgiveness, and bitterness only weighs us down and hinders us from growing closer to God.

After a long painful ordeal, through which God led me through slow increments, all bitterness toward this person was gone. I still hurt at memories of what happened, but thoughts of this person changed from thoughts of bitterness to thoughts of friendship. Thinking of it now, I know God led me through a process of forgiveness so that now I hold no bitterness at all.

I was thinking back on this experience a few days ago, amazed at God’s goodness, patience and forgiveness. That same evening, I was confronted with some ugly things inside me. Anger and hurt have been growing for some time, and I realized I needed to apply what God taught me in my first years as a Christian.

I’m experiencing culture shock in increasing measure. Not about the culture I live in, but about American Southern culture. For the past three years, I’ve been outnumbered by Southerners almost every time I’ve been around Americans. Before I started working over here, I never thought much about the differences between the North and South. I knew of some differences in dialect, special foods and community entertainment. But for the most part I never saw the South as anything but another place in my country.

But over the past three years, I have been insulted and hurt more by my own countrymen than any other people in my life – and this mostly by strangers who neither know me nor have ever visited the North. I often hear people make comments that reveal their animosity toward Northerners, often associated with the term “Yankee” - never used as a term of endearment - which has come to be extremely offensive to me. Their comments reveal their belief that Northerners, particularly New Englanders, are cold, unfriendly, heartless (maybe even soul-less) and impolite. I find it ironic that such presumptions coming from such hospitable people are so hurtful and offensive to a 'cold, heartless' person like myself. And I marvel that people who hold such prejudices toward their own countrymen can work overseas and love people of a very foreign nation.

So, it became clear to me that bitterness has built up in my heart over the last three years. I knew I had a to choose to forgive. Jesus commands us to forgive. It's not something we do when we feel like it or when the time seems right. When we feel someone has sinned against us, we must set our hearts to obedience, and we must forgive.

I sat down on the couch and began to pray. I realized that just like in that first major experience of forgiveness, I wanted the easy way out. I wanted to be surrounded by people from home and done with the cultural differences I encounter when around Southerners. But I also remembered that God kept that hurtful person in my life for a few years and forced me to work through my hurt until I had thoroughly forgiven. He’s not in the business of giving us the easy, painless road. He teaches us through hard times.

So I sat down and vented to God about the hurt and frustration I’ve felt. I chose to give Him the right to judge people for their sins, and the right to convict them and teach them to turn away. I confessed my own sins of bitterness and pride. And I thanked Him that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Jesus shed the same blood for me as he did for them, and that means forgiveness from all our sins. I rejoiced that that means that neither I, nor my Southern brothers and sisters, will be condemned.

As I prayed, I literally felt physically lighter, like a weight was taken off my shoulders. I felt my animosity dissolving.

Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

I was weary and burdened from carrying the bitterness and hurt of these things. But I turned the burden over to Christ. His yoke is a yoke of freedom and forgiveness. And it is significantly easier to carry. So much so that it it’s actually restful to carry it.

Once the initial decision is made to obey Christ and forgive, the process must continue. There's still hurt to be dealt with, and sometimes the bitterness tries to climb back on your shoulders. But if we persevere in forgiveness, God will bless us, and bitterness will be gone.

The Dead and the Living

I recently made a trip out to the countryside during one of the tribal festivals. It was pretty low key - there were no big bonfires or large gatherings. In fact, I wouldn't have even noticed it was a festival if I had not passed a number of men with their children along the trail carrying burning incense sticks.

What were they doing?

This is what I understood of the explanation: Every year families will invite the spirits of their ancestors to return to their homes for a few days. After the allotted time, the boys help their fathers lead those spirits back to their tombs for a rest. They bring trays of fruit and candy to leave at the tomb as an offering. The boys carry the burning incense, and the spirits follow the line of smoke. When they arrive at the tomb, they light a string of firecrackers.

I wasn't too clear on the rest. But my understanding was that if they failed to invite their ancestors back to their homes to hang out, the ancestors might get upset enough to do them harm. If they fail to lead them back to their tombs to rest, they'll continue to pester them in various ways.

The longer I live here, the more I see the practices of these people as a very saddening form of slavery.

Those who hold these beliefs in spirits live in fear of them. The spirits they acknowledge are not little Caspers protecting them and blessing them as they go about their days. They are often malevolent, wishing to do people harm at every turn. As a result, people live their lives in fear. Every day is a series of rituals done to appease the spirits, to convince them to leave them alone. They burn incense to household shrines in the morning and at night. They circle stone mounds thought to have some magical power before entering their homes at night. The idea is that the demons who have followed them home will be shaken off and won't follow them into the house. Babies wear charms on their wrists to ward of evil spirits.

We might be tempted to shrug off these beliefs and practices. We might like to think that these rituals and fears serve a purpose within the culture but in reality those demons and spirits do not exist. But let's not forget that the Bible is filled with warnings and commands concerning the unseen forces of darkness. These demons are very real. That's why the witchdoctors and diviners often give remedies and answers that work.

As one who has experienced the life-changing, soul-freeing power of Christ in my life, my heart breaks to see the slavery and fear in which these people live. The oppression is visible and felt.

God has made himself known through what he made, yet people the world over have chosen to worship and serve created things rather than the Creator. And the evil one has manipulated and deceived every culture on earth in special ways. He's a crafty one. These people have lived under his oppression long enough.

Pray with me that the Most High would shine the Light of Truth among the animistic peoples of the world and fulfill his promise to bring people form every nation, tribe, people and language into his Kingdom and around his Throne, "and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death." (Hebrews 2:15)

Language is Crazy

On any given day, I can walk down the street and hear as many as 10 different languages and many more dialects. It's completely mind-boggling how many languages are around me and how often local people can't effectively communicate with local people. I can travel 20 minutes by foot, and encounter villages with different mother-tongues. Language and communication takes on a whole new meaning for me here.

Here's something really crazy from this perspective. I just started reading a book called Saint's Everlasting Rest, by Richard Baxter. This guy was born almost 400 years ago in England. What's amazing is that I am able to easily understand over 99% of what he wrote 350 years ago. His heart language is very similar to mine, with minor exceptions. (Like 'apprehension' to him means what 'comprehension' means to me.) Sure he writes a lot differently than American novelists today. I might not be able to speak like he did, but if we spoke to each other, I'm pretty sure we'd communicate relatively well. At least the written form is similar enough to convince me of this.

400 years of history and the Atlantic Ocean separate our homelands, but our mother tongues are quite similar. When compared to the region I now find myself in, this is truly crazy. (Maybe Baxter wouldn't understand if I said, "Dude, this is totally whack! I mean, wicked beyond crazy!")

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I highly recommend this book, by the way. I think it will change your life. This guy knew the Bible inside and out, and he had an intimacy with Christ that should spur you on to deepening your own relationship with Him. Heck, even if you're not a Christian, you should read this book. You can get to know a genuine believer who lived a long time ago. See the world through his eyes, eloquently represented.